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Motherhood – some of us long for it all our lives, some of us don’t want it and some of us never get to experience it. For those entering this stage of life, was it like we expected and hoped for? Or a hundred times better and worse at the same time?

Emma used to worry that she would stay single forever and never have children. Fast-forward to present time; now she dreams back to the days when no one would sit in her lap during dinner, and she would have the energy to watch a TV series without falling asleep on the sofa.

In her poignant memoir, Emma Bouvin takes us on an intimate journey from meeting her husband to getting pregnant and giving birth to two wonderful children. It is not only a story of joy and happiness, but it is also one about insomnia, the daily struggles as a parent and feeling lonely in this new life – and the horrifying reality of when your child is about to die.

With a heartfelt blend of warmth and a big dose of honesty and humor, Bouvin depicts the life-changing moments in her life and shares her deepest thoughts and concerns about being a mother today. Through the skillful eyes of a journalist, Bouvin details the many complex aspects of being a parent with all its ups and downs. The author’s strength lies in her ability to portray all the expectations one has of motherhood and how they are diminished. In her sincerity, the reader can find solace and a feeling of mutual understanding.


“What really completes this book is the hair-raising depiction of when she is about to lose her child. A brilliant medical effort saves the little one, and no parent can reasonably read this without having to hold on tight to something. […] Most successful in her role as a reporter with her life as object of study is Emma Bouvin otherwise in the portrayals of the dynamics between herself and her life partner. The sentences flow smoothly, the prose is thrifty and has a fine undertone. I get a fluffy feeling just thinking of the pair of them: The helpless dependence that comes with deep love here gets to coexist with an independence that gives a relationship like that a chance to live for a long time. She never writes this straight out but it does still stand out as the most emotionally developed reasoning in the entire text. Normally, you almost only find this, if you are lucky, in writers who are many decades older.”
Dagens Nyheter (SE)

“Emma Bouvin portrays her journey as a mother with honesty and humor […]. The prose is straightforward and accessible”
Oskarshamns-Tidningen (SE)

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